What qualifies you to tutor us on these issues?’ I hear some of you ask. That is an excellent question and one that requires an answer. I have spent two decades researching the various social, psychological and technological processes that have given rise to this weird covenant between consumers and providers – affording the title Professor of Consumer Behaviour. For twenty years I’ve also taught people how to understand the consumer and be ‘good’ marketers, how to probe and know the mind and behaviour of the buyer. I’ve worked with multinational companies whose very existence requires you to be complicit. I know their methods. Indeed, I have helped them refine their methods. Am I poacher turned gamekeeper, or maybe gamekeeper turned poacher (the order should be dictated by your own politics, not mine)? I assure you that I don’t want to preach; well, maybe a bit. I’d rather be seen as a slightly-drunk-loner-in-the-pub-who-traps-you-into-a-debate-about-something-and-makes-more-sense-the-longer-you-drink than a preacher, if that’s okay with you. I’d like to chew over some of the anomalies, mechanisms and structures that sustain our perpetual quest for more and better objects and things. This blog could be seen as akin to a manual for bomb disposal. Such manuals are equally useful to the prospective bomb-maker. In this vein, the sub-title for this blog might read ‘How to make people buy stuff’. This two-faced function is entirely healthy and a reminder that you should never trust authors of this kind of blog (or anyone else for that matter – particularly random guys in pubs). So, Idiotconsumercom is designed to help you do various things, for example:
a] understand a lot more about the marketers’ methods, so that you can become a slightly less idiotic consumer or
b] blag your way through an interview with a market research company or
c] scrape a pass in a first-year undergraduate marketing exam or
d] abandon modern life and live in a manner that would use all those skills you’ve gleaned from watching too many Bear Grylls shows or
e] any combination of the above or something else I haven’t thought of.
A Sensible Resume: